Monday, May 27, 2013

Dead Horse Beach: Like a Beautiful Dream Ripped From my Head




I had heard whispers from friends about this place...seemed to amazing to be real...but then i saw evidence did some research...and forgot...like you sometimes do with something amazing because it just wasn't time yet......



The yesterday i got a text from my friend Jessica... "Dead Horse Beach Tommorrow???"

that was all i needed

...and thus the adventure began!!!!


Now i have certain aversions to beaches...mostly the PEOPLE....the loud noisiness of them...the greasy bodies slathered and chattering.....but in general i feel they are beautiful places..they can be serene and magical....especially for someone interested in nature and biology such as I am.... So the day was gorgeous...the timing was right...So we packed up the car and set off towards the yet unknown....


From what i had gathered Dead Horse Beach {or Bay}.... was somewhere near Rockaway.....it had been the site of many things, from manufacturing fish oil , to making  fertilizer using animal bones and more "recently" as a landfill  from the 19th to the 20th century.... So because of this  the tides constantly bring in a flow of debris...but not simply garbage...beautiful antique bottles tumbled with time...small rusted metal intricacies... children's toys and ceramic pieces... all kinds of curiosities vomited up from the deep like a treasure trove for someone like me.....apparently now its also a site for sport fishing which we saw many people doing today as well as the evidence of strange fish and many horseshoe crabs and rays....


My friend Jessicas son Auden thought this was a dead crab and was instantly shaken when he "came to life" {I never saw a child run so fast and determined as he did!!! And we died with laughter once he calmed down!!!}  I took the crab back to the ocean so he wouldn't  suffer the same fate as his brethren!!! 







this ray was so alien and flesh...like some otherworldly creature fallen from the heavens rather than evicted from the oceans depths....


there was so much detail and so much texture...things clinging to other things and a lot of life amongst the "trash"....the flotsam and jetsam clinging to pipes and tires created beautiful patterns and small muscles and snails grew and thrived in smashed bottles and soles of shoes creating miniature enviornments amongst the scattered debris.... 









There were almost as many shoe soles as shells....perhaps even more!!! They ceased to be just trash and became these repetitive organic shapes....as varied and interesting as the organic creatures we found... it was amazingly strange



these worn wood posts stood like sentinels  majestically against the sunlight...




One of the most gobsmacking things we came upon was a fallen tree...which in itself was beautiful all twisted and majestic laying in the sand...but people had decorated the tree in bottle on wires and shredded plastic and ropes and the tree became this thing...this being almost...it felt alive and filled with beautiful energies and i couldn't take my eyes off of it...Jessica and I were just so in love with it!!!!


I couldn't stop yelling and gasping at its beauty at every turn and every branch adorned with treasures ....


it glittered and clamored like an enormous chandelier..... it was covered with offerings and treasures from the sea.....it started my mind reeling and inspired me a great deal...this tree and i have more of a journey together indeed.....



playing amongst the branches....



even its roots were filled with magicks....



the trash bags and plastic created this wonderful fringe that blew and danced in the wind and created an amazing rustling sound like fall leaves...










Auden takes a well deserved rest on a displaced slide....





giant metal machinery became a mock reef...


Auden poses next to a tree root that had pierced this piece of stone...mysterious and amazing....



this horseshoe crab was completely covered in tiny barnacles creating an amazing new creature..... like something from a different time....



what looks like a door to a safe became another reclaimed environment....filled with lush sea life.... like a miniature tide pool 




these rocks sparkled and glittered in the sun becoming almost too bright to look at on occasion!



another moment of nature taking back over....These little snails made a home inside this tire....it was fun to watch them scurrying about....


A sea monster of sorts.....


On the way back we stumbled across this beautifully lush path and decided to take it ands see where it went...it ended up bringing us back to the street and the car...but it was fun to take this unknown path and  wander seemingly lost through this magical forest...





taking a moment to take in all the beauty....


so what started as a whim...a simple trip 30 minutes from where we lived...became this amazingly magical adventure...full of inspiration and surprises.... New York has SO MUCH to offer...you just have to look....sometimes just a little longer and a little closer than you are used to...we left exhausted and happy...smiling and talking endlessly...and so inspire... so VERY inspired!!!!!

SO when the day is nice...and not too warm... if you get the chance you MUST go...it really is a magical place....and if you see me wandering around... come say hi and ill show you what i collected!!!!

XOXO










"My Life is One Big Dark Room" : Refelctions on Teenaged Gothdom


My room smelled like patchoulli and smoky Sandalwood incense that i picked up on St Marks Place.... candles burned and i would lay on my bed staring at the too red lips of Robert Smith.....However...Mostly I flipped through the pages of grainy black and white magazines......Sometimes literally photocopied pages...sent through the mail or purchased at some musty shop with a frightwigged proprietor.....I would play loud sad music and stare at the powder white faces  imagining  myself a beautiful slim androgyne wandering through an overgrown cemetery......eyes thrown heavenward...



For awhile these magazines were my only solace...a way of feeling part of something bigger...a way of creating a ripped and ragged community.... a style bible....a secret society.....I was often more interested in the models than the bands...these people like me who desired something dark....children of the night who wore their hearts on their sleeves and rubbed their eyes black with kohl.... who pulled  fishnets over slender limbs and danced like wild animals in pointy leather shoes ..... 


Pouting and posing...playing with sex and sexuality....lovely and lithe.....it helped form my aesthetic and feed my desires.....i wanted ...i LUSTED....i...became..... I saw myself reflected in the stark images and it made me feel powerful....It gave me a strength i didn't know i had....it gave me immense pleasure..... i imagined tangles of pale bony limbs...red red lips pressed against hot flesh...toungues tangled and hands grasping while music thumped with tribal intensity..... Sins of the flesh made all too real....


And though this wasn't the whole of my life it gave teenage me a little bit of hope....alot of desire...and made me feel...like i was a part of something bigger...and darker... and even though sometimes the magazines took themselves a little too seriously...and sometimes they were more ridiculous then sublime....I still appreciated them for what they were....and what i learned from them...


And  time has passed...and the world has changed so much....i still appreciate this dark aesthetic and remember the reverence i had for it and how it inspired me so....and how still some of the images evoke such emotion and desire in me...even after decades pass.......

XOXO




"Love Me , I said, With My Hands in Your Hair......"